Let me start by saying that if resolutions work for you, great!
As for me, I don’t make resolutions anymore, because if I “resolve” to do something and don’t, I’m breaking a promise to myself. I don’t want to start any new venture (or year) thinking about what I might screw up or neglect to do.
Instead, I’ve been thinking a lot about the things in 2024 that I enjoyed or feel proud of or learned to do, that I’d like to keep up in 2025.
So here I am, sharing them, not on December 31 and not January 1.
Do you know why? Because they’re not resolutions! Which means I didn’t already fail by not doing it on some prescribed date. (See how that works? Clever!)
Doing Small Things Now, Before They Become Big Things
This past year, I committed to doing more things when I thought of them, instead of nudging them off my to-do list another day (or month or six months).
I’m not perfect by any means, but it really eases my mental load to do things like paying a bill when it comes in. Adding an event to my calendar. Finally, creating a Letterboxd account like everyone else in my film-obsessed family and adding all the movies I want to my watchlist so I know where to find them. Updating to the newest OS. Making boiled eggs for the week ahead. Scheduling a mammogram.
To be clear, a mammogram is not a small thing whatsoever, but making the call to schedule it is; and choosing to look at it that way — “just a phone call” — makes it way easier for my procrastinating brain to manage something that otherwise seems big.
Regifting
I think we need to rethink regifting. Look around at things you have that have given you joy, and think about how they might give others joy.
I am a sentimental saver by nature, but I have started giving the kids a lot of my (vintage, in their words, sigh) jewelry, because why let those amazing 80s spider earrings and chunky Y2K-core rings sit in a box in my closet forever.
A book that was meaningful to me in college. A stunning NWT Halston dress I bought on The RealReal years ago that’s a size negative-12 labeled as a 6 and has never once come off the hanger. Even a mammoth bottle of CeraVe from the Costco double-pack that would otherwise sit in our bathroom for a good year before opening — all regifted to delighted new owners.
(P.S. Sage looked spectacular in the dress emceeing her Senior Drama Cabaret! Will she let me share a photo? Probably not!)
Lighting the Good Candles
I often think about Gretchen Rubin’s chapter in The Happiness Project about “Spending Out,” or using the things we own. It’s often described as “using the good china,” but for me, it’s lighting candles, because, fun fact, I have never been married and don’t own good china.
Do you know how many amazing candles I’ve amassed over the years? (Don’t make me answer, it’s a little embarrassing.) Well, now we light them. It not only makes me feel calm and happy, it makes me feel like I’m in a freshly cleaned home. So basically, someone else’s home.
Keeping Things in Perspective
When things are rough, I think of my mom’s wise question: Will this matter in five years? How about ten? It helps a lot.
Now I may try a new method to keep myself in check if I’m spiraling, thanks to my friend Christine Koh’s Edit Your Life Podcast. She re-ran an older episode about 8 simple ways to orient toward gratitude, including Asha Dornfest’s suggestion that when she feels “crammed,” she places a note on her calendar a month or so in the future, reminding herself to stop and think about what has transpired over the past 30 days since that feeling.
Even if things are still sucky, I bet there’s something positive you’ll be able to see that you accomplished, or some way that things have evolved for the better over that month.
Working on Internalized Ageism
This past summer, I wrote about how Karen Walrond helped me see all the ways that we internalize and regurgitate ageism, which continues to perpetuate it.
Oops, senior moment.
Wow, you were born after 9/11? You’re a baby!
You look great for your age!
Yes, I know all the lyrics to “Forever Young” because I’M OLD
So… turning 29 again? *wink wink*
Why won’t [older politician you don’t like regardless of capability and effectiveness] retire already?
I’m self-deprecating by nature, and this is a hard one to fully achieve; but being mindful about these quips has really helped me identify them, respond in a more positive way, and actually reclaim a little joy.
Aging and longevity expert Debra Whitman also taught me this past year that those who see aging as a time of wisdom and positivity are proven to live 7.5 years longer. Wow.
Related:
We’re All a Little Ageist Sometimes
Advocating Fiercely for My Own Health
I made the decision that if I have time for a pedicure, I have time to look out for all the other parts of me. I think that’s been a good one.
The Frozen Shoulder thing is still with me (yay) but I know recovery would take a lot longer if I hadn’t gotten my butt to PT at the first sign, hit the orthopedist when things got worse, and insisted on a second cortisone shot — even when the doctor told me the ultrasound machine was unexpectedly “in use” and would I mind rescheduling? (Yes I would, and no, I didn’t.)
I scheduled some overdue tests (all is well), and also found a new dentist who is closer to home and doesn’t constantly upsell me on procedures. As it turns out, I’m now less inclined to postpone cleanings.
Not Treating News as Entertainment
In 2025, I cannot allow myself to do what I did after 2016, losing myself in every insane breaking news story about every crazy thing the guy in the White House says or does. Every day is not THE MOST IMPORTANT ROSE CEREMONY EVER, as much as he wants us to see it that way.
I have not turned on live TV news since November 6, and you know? I’ve been okay with that. It drops my cortisol levels and helps me a lot with #3 up there.
I also find that I don’t have a drop of FOMO if I don’t know every last detail about the Tesla Cybertruck Terrorist the second other people do.
To be clear, I’m not tuning out the news, because a lot of things in 2025 will matter in five years. So I continue to follow the historians, read important stories and analyses from writers and reporters I respect, and follow breaking news via responsible accounts on Threads and Bluesky (feel free to follow who I follow). I still rely on Lawrence O’Donnell, if sometimes a day late. I am also hitting my Substack Home page more, as political writers are beginning to use Notes like a social feed.
If you need help unplugging, just remember: If we have a serious emergency or crisis, I guarantee a family member will text you.
Related:
Follow the Historians
The Great Anti-Doom Scrolling Therapy Guide
Supporting Independent Media
I made a holiday gift donation to Pro Publica on behalf of my mom, because we both know how essential independent journalism will be. That also means paying for the Substack subscriptions that give me value when I can.
Even if they’re not political per se, I find Laura Fenton’s Living Small as valuable as any series in NYT Styles, and Bess Kalb’s The Grudge Report as entertaining as any New Yorker column.
You know what else I’ve come to love, and not just because they syndicate my columns when I have one worth publishing and isn’t overtly political? PRINT Magazine. It’s also majority-women owned, which is rare.
By the way, I am not someone who will ever shame you for reading The Times or The Washington Post. The corporate-owned media also gives us access to outstanding reporters, researchers, and columnists.
(Tip: An Apple One subscription includes Apple News, which is a more affordable way to read a ton of publications with paywalls.)
Hopescrolling
Remember how good it felt to start Hopescrolling in 2024? Me too. I’m continuing to cut out the social feeds that rage-bait, rant incessantly, or stress me out. I’m also continuing to follow more accounts that just give me moments of delight in my day. @NewWaveSocialClub will never make you sad.
Finding Opportunities for Deliberate Acts of Kindness
Jaclyn Lindsay, CEO of kindness.org, researches the science of kindness and taught me so much this past year. Like acts of kindness must be deliberate, not random, to be impactful.
It’s made me much more mindful (that word again!) about my own acts of kindness — where I am doing pretty well, and where I can be better.
The good news is, acts of kindness don’t have to be big to be impactful at all; like being on time for a meeting, telling your kids you’re proud of them, giving a little extra attention to a younger person struggling at work, asking to reconnect with an old friend, or just reaching out and asking someone in your life how they’re doing.
I have a suspicion we’re all going to benefit from more “You doing okay?” calls in the coming year. I hope to be initiating more of them myself.
Which, I guess, is a resolution after all.
Liz Gumbinner is a Brooklyn-based writer, award-winning ad agency creative director, and OG mom blogger who was called “funny some of the time” by an enthusiastic anonymous commenter. This was originally posted on her Substack “I’m Walking Here!,” where she covers culture, media, politics, and parenting.
Header image: photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.
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